i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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