Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
