Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
