dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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