Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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