Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
