you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
