Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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