my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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