we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize