I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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