Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
