this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
