He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
