Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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