awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
