New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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