Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
