i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
