I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
