I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
