I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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