Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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