you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
