This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
