who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am puke
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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