If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
