So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
