Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
