i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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