Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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