wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
