HIV tests are more positive than that guy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize