Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Randomize
