she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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