would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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