Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
