i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize