I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize