i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
