Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
