So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
