hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
