i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need moral support for this bender
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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