Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's great music for shaving your balls
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
