My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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