You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
