If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
