Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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