We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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