he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
