worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
