Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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