At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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