Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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