ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am one with the molecules
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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