Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
