bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
