You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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